Punk’d by the Dylantariat

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If you’re a journalist or a blogger on the China or entertainment beat, I have a plea: for God’s sake, stop writing about Bob Dylan’s China tour. I don’t ask you for much — just do this one thing, and I’ll owe you big time. Really, I think we’ve all had enough, particularly all the headlines with the Dylan song lyric puns.

If I see another headline with a ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ allusion, the answer is gonna be my brains splattered on the wall after I eat my service revolver. (Well, I would if I was a movie cop.)

Why so much attention paid to Dylan’s China trip? Here’s what happened:

1. Dylan announces China trip.

2. Press salivates over the possibility that Dylan will make some sort of symbolic protest against the government, particularly anything about the recent crackdowns on dissidents.

3. Press prematurely ejaculates (um, and whatever the female equivalent of that would be) while fantasizing about what the Chinese government’s draconian response to the Dylan protest would be and whether they, the press, might get some face time about the story on a cable news show, even something on Fox.

4. Dylan comes to China and, being a professional entertainer, does just that, without incident.

5. Journalists and bloggers are devastated that nothing exciting happened, so instead they write endless pieces about how Dylan “sold out” by not bad mouthing his hosts.

6. Attracted by the possibility of a good old fashioned media circle jerk, other journalists and bloggers are sucked into the non story by coming out in Dylan’s defense.

7. After two and a half days of this crap, I give in to my arrogance and tendency to be a blowhard asshole and write this post.

I think that pretty much covers it. It’s not that I don’t expect this kind of thing, it’s just that my ability to ignore it isn’t what it used to be. Might have something to do with my late-onset ADD.

Final word: if you’re thinking about responding to the commentariat who criticized the Op/Ed writer who took exception to the news reports about Dylan in China, please consider something a bit more relevant to the world around us. If I have to write something else on the subject and actually want to quote someone, I’ll have to use 47 indents, and that’s just over the top.

At this point, I’d rather read a warmed-over rewrite of “Senator Schumer says RMB is undervalued,” “Source says more interest rate hikes will be necessary” or even “Wen visits natural disaster victims.”

Anything, please, just no more fictitious controversy stories about Dylan.

5 responses on “Punk’d by the Dylantariat

  1. Adam Minter

    Well … how about a post responding to the blogger who just posted about how he’s tired of all the posts responding to the editorial about Dylan in China? This could get real meta, real fast.

    1. Stan Post author

      Correction: 48 indents.

      On the other hand, the typical response to my post will probably be “Piss off and mind your own business” and therefore will not take up a great deal of space.

  2. pug_ster

    Probably the same China bloggers who were outraged when Lang Lang plan the ‘Anti-American’ piano piece in the White House piece are complaining why Dylan was ‘censored.’ Go figure.

  3. slim

    China does vet lyrics. Lang Lang’s anti-US song was in poor taste (but he may be too young or clueless to know that or know why)

    But as Jeremiah of the Granite Studio blog sums up eloquently, Dylan never does more than mumble band member’s names on stage and does not engage with his audience. Hell, I don’think what he does now even counts as singing.

  4. King Tubby

    Stan. The perfect take on the whole gig. But it did provide the Bobologists with an opportunity to display their arcane knowledge of lyrics, stage delivery, etc. Much rummaging thru the vinyl and the like. I fully expected a position statement from Hilary Clinton.