From Countdown to Beijing:

Nevermind that the H1N1 “swine” flu, which has killed more than 150 people in Mexico, is not directly caused by pigs and has so far not led to any outbreaks among pigs.

Nevermind that the World Health Organization has ruled out any risk of infection to humans from eating pork.

Nevermind that the influenza-A virus contains DNA from avian and human as well as swine H1N1 viruses, but unfortunately (for the pork industry) has been tagged as “swine flu” by global health authorities and therefore by the media.

The net result is that, amid the confusion and potential risks of appearing unprepared, at least six countries have decided to panic over pigs, imposing import bans on live pigs and pork products from Mexico and the United States.

Indeed, the country with the largest pig population in the world — China — is going full-bore on a perceived threat to the domestic pig industry.

The actions of just about everyone these days, including the governments in the U.S., China and Europe over the Swine Flu reminds me of why folks make fun of the government so often.

You’d think that since we already know that this bug didn’t come from pigs per se, but is a flu strain that also contains human and avian DNA, people would calm down. We’ve also narrowed down the ultimate cause of the outbreak to one of two possibilities, as I learned from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show:

1. Flu mutations; or

2. Someone had sex with a turkey club sandwich.

I’m kind of leaning in the direction of the sandwich theory, although it could be because I skipped lunch today.

Despite the pork scare, I for one will continue to gorge myself on pig parts as often as possible. Maybe the Swine Flu epidemic will even result in prices going down for a time. That would be an added bonus for those of us not freaking out.