From Damien Ma, blogging at The Atlantic:

That is truly the heart of China’s conundrum. It is simultaneously extremely poor and ostentatiously rich, depending on the evidence that’s selected for emphasis. Which country will China put forward to face the future? It is afraid of assuming outsized responsibility that comes with greater power, or what I call the “Spider Man complex” (“with great power comes great responsibility, Peter”). And just as Spider Man, China too gripes about being misunderstood and occasionally being cast as a villain rather than a hero (ok, that’s enough indulgence of comic book analogies).

I think Damien is on to something here, although let’s first get something straight: it’s “Spider-Man,” not “Spider Man.” I don’t want to run afoul of Marvel Properties, Inc. or whatever special purpose licensing subsidiary owns that trademark these days.

Anyway, Damien’s right. China has not yet decided whether with great power comes “great responsibility” or “great opportunities” to screw over the other guy. Historically, it seems to me that we’ve seen a mixture of both. I mean, seriously, what have the Romans ever done for us?

As I considered this issue, however, I realized that the China/Spider-Man comparison runs a lot deeper than many of us realize. It’s actually a bit creepy, to tell you the truth. Kinda reminds me of that image that circulated on the Net from 9/11 of the Devil’s face in the flames of one of the World Trade Center towers. Or Lady Gaga. Same level of creepiness.

I gave myself ten minutes to list as many China/Spider-Man parallels as I could. I came up with 47, but in the interest of brevity, here are the top ten (not in order of importance):¹

Local Government Debt

China: local governments are experiencing a very troubling debt crisis.

Spider-Man: Peter Parker is often late with his rent or in need of supplies to make web fluid; he therefore owes a lot of money to local creditors.

See what I mean? Startling.

Clone Problems

PRC: embarrassingly inundated with cloned iPhones, iPads, Social Media platforms, etc.

Spidey: had his own infamous clone problem a number of years ago that fans are still trying to forget.

Even speaking as an IP lawyer, I’ll take the counterfeit products over Spidey clones any day, and I haven’t even brought up the “Ultimate Universe” version.

Housing Horrors

PRC: has a huge housing problem, with prices skyrocketing and good deals hard to come by.

Spidey: Peter Parker often has trouble affording a decent apartment in Manhattan on a photographer’s salary. Moreover, when Aunt May’s house blew up, he wasn’t even able to crash in Queens as a last resort.

Perhaps China’s housing policy could take the lead from current issues of the Spidey books: get a hot (albeit slightly unstable) roommate. You get to split costs, and due to hilarious misunderstandings after the Chameleon assumes your identity and sleeps with your roommate, you get to hook up every now and again. That’s government policy I can support.

Loose Lips Sink Ships

PRC: To protect its citizens, China must monitor and take reasonable measures to restrict speech.

Spidey: To protect his loved ones, Spider-Man must take precautions never to reveal his secret identity. When the word gets out, bad things happen, like voluptuous young blondes being hurled from bridges, etc.

I defy anyone to come up with a better analogy for the Great Firewall. Simply can’t be done.

With Friends Like These

PRC: has to constantly put up with the antics of its frenemies (North Korea, Myanmar, Iran, Sudan, etc.).

Spidey: spends at least half his time dealing with folks like Harry Osborn/Green Goblin #2, Flint Marko/Sandman (strangely enough, no hyphen), Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard. Need I go on?

Let’s face it, frenemies are a drag, particularly when those you kill keep being resurrected. Just ask Batman (also no hyphen).

Coming Out Parties (and regrets)

PRC: made a splashy debut at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Spidey: revealed his secret identity to the public early on in Marvel’s Civil War crossover series. A lot of money was wasted on both events.

PRC: After product liability scandals, economic difficulties and civil unrest, some folks in China subsequently had second thoughts about that splashy debut in 2008.

Spidey: After Aunt May was shot, Peter Parker had second thoughts about his no longer secret identity, culminating in the craptastic Brand New Day offal currently being foisted on loyal readers.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Who Called for an Exterminator?

PRC: fond of public health campaigns against vermin such as flies, cockroaches and rats.

Spidey: fond of beating up on sewer-dwelling villain Vermin, who lets rats crawl all over him in an extremely unnerving manner.

Woe Is Me

PRC: despite incredible economic growth and growing international power, is fond of playing the role of global victim when it is criticized. Boo hoo.

Spidey: Peter Parker whines like a woman just because he’s poor and stressed out, even though he’s freakin’ Spider-Man and is married to a hottie supermodel (though not at the moment). My heart bleeds for the guy.

The Grim Hunt

PRC: Net Nannies hunt down craven anonymous online agitators.

Spidey: One of Spider-Man’s arch-nemeses is Kraven the Hunter.

That one was obvious.

Pain In the Ass Government Officials

PRC: constantly battling against poor decisions made by local government officials.

Spidey: In the current Spider-verse, J. Jonah Jameson is mayor of New York City.

‘Nuff said.
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1. At the outset, please note that I have not wasted my afternoon tracking down links to all these Spider-Man references. It’s not necessary, but if you need your link fix, most of these names and such can be found on Wikipedia if you include “Marvel” or “Spider-Man” as a keyword.[↩]

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