Kids, Don't Look at This

This is quite entertaining, I must say. For background on this issue, remember that China has instituted a set of rules (the Interim Provisions of Real-Name Registration of Online Gaming) mandating that users must present their names/ID card information when setting up an account with a game operator. The new law was ostensibly a response to the terrifying menace known as “Internet Addiction,” which is decimating the best and brightest of the next generation (you can substitute some World War I British poetry here).

Anyway, China Youth Daily decided to get to the bottom of this story and ran an online survey. These things are scientific, so there’s no chance that the self-selection factor would in any way skew the results, assuming that the numbers posted are the real results. So, when asked whether they supported the new system, what did China’s gamers say?

Of the 12,714 netizens from all over China, who responded to the China Youth Daily’s online survey last week, more than half hailed the new measure. Half of them claimed to be online game players. Among them, 63 percent were in favor of real-name registration.

Well, that settles that, or does it? I thought most gamers here view the new rules with amusement. Oh, wait a second, that survey also included this:

The survey also indicated that more than 60 percent felt the current real-name registration system “lacks details and will be difficult to implement”.

Only a third of the respondents believe the new regulation would successfully prevent minors from getting addicted to online games. Two thirds said minors could easily spot the loopholes in the system.

So a majority thinks it’s a good idea but ultimately a fool’s errand. Cool. Kind of like Republicans who want to repeal the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution.

Why are the new rules foolish? Well, gamers signing up for new accounts can simply use another ID card number (e.g. parents’ cards). Moreover, there are web sites out there that publish lists of ID card numbers that kids can easily find.

The new rules limit minors to two hours of game play a day, and yet systems are not in place to enforce those rules, making the requirement look even more silly. When I was a kid, my parents used to admonish me “Thirty more minutes of reading, and then you absolutely need to turn your lights off and go to sleep.” What did I care if I broke the rules and read that Heinlein novel until dawn? No penalty, no reason to change one’s habits. (And that’s why I am the lazy, undisciplined, yet well read person you see today.)

And finally, this bit of nonsense:

More than 65 percent polled suggested departments involved should strengthen industry regulations and improve the games by pumping in more interesting and educational content.

Let’s see. It’s hard to imagine something more interesting than lopping off the head of a troll with a battle axe, so maybe we should focus on “educational.” Perhaps before swinging that sword or casting that spell, the player would have to answer an educational trivia question like this:

The Hammers – The Hammers is the nickname of what English football team?

For special cases, like Boss Fights, trick questions could spice things up:

The Seattle Mariners last won the World Series in what year?

Those are pretty easy questions, though. What to do for end-of-level challenges, or for unlocking prizes? I’ll give any Chinese gamer an immediate level-up if they can get this one:

How many flak jackets did Dan Pastorini wear in the 1979 AFC Championship game between the Houston Oilers and the Pittsburgh Steelers?

Man, education sure is fun.